(43) 'Unashamed Pride'

[Ken]

I am proud of what I have achieved in my life and proud of the way I reacted to both success and failure. I am proud of my wife and proud of the enduring friendship's I have made, I am proud of my family and most of all, proud of my inner thought's.  These few short memories are about pride, and it doesn't always come before a fall!

My brother Bob and my friend Colin 'Bojey' Bowbrick both said things years ago that made me inwardly glow with pride but I doubt if either of them, if asked today, could even recall the events I write of.  In Colin's case the memory that pleased me so much occurred in my late teenage years. A crowd of Shamley Green lads were discussing what each of their talents could collectively achieve if united in an emergency, we were sitting on the grass verge outside the Red Lion pub, near the hollowed out Elm trees that delighted us all as children.  It was agreed that Colin's skill with carpentry would be of huge importance to the imaginary enterprise as would Maxi's talent as an electrician.  Speckitt stuttered all he could offer was to use the concrete mixer and do the labouring, and Martin (aka Smelliot), suggested he could do the bricklaying. Before long all of the many skills possessed were being spoken of as we realised we had apprentice's from many trades amongst us to carry out this imaginary emergency work. To my surprise I found that everyone there had a skill that would be useful with the exception of me and I voiced my thoughts for I truly couldn't see a role I could play.  Colin said, "You'd tell us what to do, as you usually do", and he spoke as if it was the most obvious truth in the world. I noticed that many of the others nodded or voiced their agreement.  I had never realised before how my friends perceived me and for some reason I felt proud.  From that day forth I stood a little taller!

My brother Bobs comments came a little later when a coach load of Shamley Green-ite's were in the Isle of Wight on a weekend cricket tour.  On the Saturday the weather had been wonderful but the Sunday forecast was horrendous.  We all awoke in our Hotel and, as we enjoyed our Sunday breakfast, we could clearly see the rain was set for the day.  As expected, by mid morning our opponent's had phoned and informed us that the match was cancelled.  The trouble was the coach home, which was booked with a Surrey coach company, was not due to pick us until nine o'clock that evening, which meant a long boring day stretched ahead of us.  I was still quite young then and as the older ones procrastinated endlessly, about how to spend the day, I stepped in with an idea.  I suggested that they phone the coach company in Surrey and ask them to leave immediately to pick us up as early as possible.  I added that we could then stop on the way home at a particular pub that I knew everyone would like.  The idea appealed to all of the older decision makers but they then started to pontificate about whether the coach company would be willing to change.  In frustration I told them to try and to my surprise Bob said, "Get young Kenny to ask, he's good at that sort of thing"!  I duly phoned and of course the coach firm were delighted to oblige. What made my heart soar with pride were the words Bob had used.  I knew my older brother loved me but I was unaware he thought I was particularly good at anything.  I was proud to find he thought I was!

It goes without saying that I was proud of some my business successes but they were a different sort of pride to the memories listed above.  The sort of pride gained from Colin and Bob's comments, words spoken so many decades earlier, were the sort that made my spirits soar for they were unexpected.  This was not the sort of arrogant pride that legend tells us comes before a fall.  This sort of pride is the type that creeps up on you and suddenly informs you of something good about yourself.  This sort of pride is followed by a feeling of well being that makes you like and be proud of yourself.  This was a good pride.

One of the wonders of our age for me is the fact that for no cost at all, I can have an ongoing and 'instant message' conversation with my son Morgan.  He can, having seen I'm online, type, "Morning Dad", and I can reply instantly.  This happened recently and in response to his question on what I'd been doing that day, I replied, "I've just finished a new Cosy story about my parents life, titled, The Walt and Ruby Story". After a few more father/son pleasantries, that included putting the world to rights, we both continued with our day. About an hour later the Skype video call light started flashing and I saw it was Morgan calling. With just a click of my fingers my son and heir was facing me. It still amazes me that this is now possible, for I was in Wales, and he was in Austria, one thousand road miles away.  He immediately started to say he had just finished reading my epic story of how his grandparents had met and of the long and arduous journey they'd made, before finally finding a home and happiness in the village of Shamley Green.  

His words were full of praise, gushing amazing praise, and I must admit to being shocked by his enthusiasm.  I knew he'd enjoyed many of the Cosy memories I had previously written but this, he assured me, was brilliant writing.  Feeling slightly bemused, I told him that the telling of the story had been quite a challenge for, unlike most of my tales, this was not an actual memory of mine, but some well researched assumptions on events that occurred up to eighty years ago.  " A challenge conquered", he assured me, as my beloved son began to gush once more and, as his articulate words of praise started to gather momentum, I found myself smiling.  The Nobel Prize for Literature 2014, flashed through my mind.  Was it still held in Sweden I asked myself, and was my passport still valid?  However, realising I may be getting slightly ahead of myself, I returned to reality, and thanked Morgan for his support and kind words.

The first thing I did after speaking to Morgan was to to tell Jenny what he had said, I was buzzing with surprised pleasure as I did so.  Just like the times decades earlier when Bob and Colin's words had surprised me, my always high spirits soared to unimaginable heights.  If my legs could have done so I would have danced a jig.  What I felt was Pride, pure unashamed Pride and this pride was followed by the pleasure that comes from unexpectedly pleasing people.  I've had kind word and much praise for writing down these memories, not only from relatives, but from friends who I wouldn't have expected to be interested in them.  Of course I know my many writing limitations and I'm not suffering from any form of delusion, but for ever more I can say with PRIDE that I, Kenneth Ulysess Napoleon Tuffs, was once awarded the, 'The Morgan Tuffs, 2013, Prize for Literature!'                  

[Ken]

Everyone likes to be praised, even old folks like me.  This memory explains how my sons recent comments on the, 'Walt and Ruby Story,' made my spirits soar.  Just like the words of an old friend did, decades earlier.