(60) 'Two Blokes From The Pig And Tator'

[Ken]

In recent years one of the television delights of Jenny and mine have been the railway journey shows hosted by the one time MP, Michael Portillo.  They are hugely popular and it fascinates me to watch how likeable Michael has become and how good he is with the people he meets.  Take a time machine trip back to the years approaching the general election of 1997 and you'll see a different man.  That Michael Portillo was arrogance personified and he was despised by half the nation.  I can recall the delight of millions when the news was announced that he had lost his Parliamentary seat and many, me included, rejoiced at the news.

Take another time machine trip with me, this time back to the year of 1976, and you'll find me with my four top members of staff.  I'd just had informed them that I was changing their title from that of a branch manager, for they all showed potential that was far greater than that of managing a shop.  I'd told them they were now to be called called 'Controller's,' for that was what they would do daily on my behalf.  I'd said they would be expected to control things in my way and for years my fantastic four did this admirably.  

Pete Masterton and Alan Bentley were my 'Regional Controllers' and each of them was in charge of several branches.  As our company grew, so did the number of shops that each of them controlled.  Alan Perfett was my 'Warehouse Controller,' and he had the vital job of co-ordinating the stocks required for our shops to maximise sales.  He was the first of the four to describe me as 'The Leader,' a phraseology that sometimes brought puzzled looks from strangers. Another of these bright young men was Tim Bannister and he became my 'Promotional Controller.'  Tim was an immensely talented person who I put in charge of all our in store sales promotions.  His ability shone constantly in many ways, especially so whenever we opened a new shop.  These four colleagues showed enormous loyalty to me for many years but to my regret, in time, it all came to an end.  However, before that sad day occurred we shared some wonderful times together in both work and play.  In future 'Cosy Stories' I will tell of some of these happy events.
   
On one occasion in those years of yester, my niece Nicola met my Controllers.  I was not privy to their conversation but I did hear my niece say the following words to them, "I can't imagine my Uncle Ken being nasty to anyone."  The roar of astonishment, mixed with laughter, that immediately exited the mouths of all those present was enormous, and it had the unspoken message, "You must be blo*dy joking!"  I have often quoted her words for they epitomise how all of us see things from different perspectives.  To my staff I was their popular boss whose good side you'd better be on, but one you'd be wise not to annoy.  To Nicola and, I hope, all of my niece and nephews, I was good old Uncle Ken, who was always ready for some fun.  Often kind, always happy and never nasty.

Looking back I realise I was all those things for aren't we all at times two different people?  What sums it up best in my case are these two memories of the Guildford pub known as the 'Pig and Tator'.  The first of these sees me invading the public bar with a dozen or so of my cohorts, this was quite a frequent event in the 1970's.  The pub staff would know they were in for a busy night as money was placed on the pool table and a request was made for the Juke box sound to be increased.  The landlady would happily take orders for food and, although the beer would flow to excess, the landlord knew for certain there would never be any trouble.  To him and his wife I became something of an enigma, for they would see arguments flare up that were stopped with just one word from me.  Who was he, this intimidating man of average height some addressed as Leader, and why was his instructions adhered to by all those with him?                            

The second of my 'Pig and Tator' memories took place on Sunday lunchtimes.  I would visit the pub but this time I'd sit in the much smaller saloon bar.  I would not be dressed in the smart suited, sartorial elegance of my working days, but instead would wear a simple jumper or casual shirt.  I'd always be alone and the landlady would see me quietly reading my book as I slowly sipped my pint.  Again I did not learn this until much later, but apparently she once said to her husband, "Doesn't that bloke in the saloon bar look like the one who comes in with that noisy lot?"  I'm told the husband agreed, adding, I looked much nicer!

The above story illustrates how we're all capable of having complex and varying personalities.  To some of my staff I was a hero, but to the ones I'd sacked I was despised as a b*stard and a bully.  To my niece Nicola I was always kind old Uncle Ken and I hope that memory of me still endures.  In the minds of the proprietors of the 'Pig and Tator,' I was actually two different people.  One was the nice chap who came in alone for a Sunday lunchtime pint and quietly read his book in the corner seat.  The other was his loud and autocratic lookalike, who they found a little intimidating in his mannerisms.  It was years before they came to the conclusion we were one and the same person.  Going back to my fascination with the new Michael Portillo, I see a comparison in his story to mine, for we've both been two different people.  He is obviously enjoying his new, nice guy, life enormously and he is living proof that anyone can change and do something totally unexpected.  One of the unexpected change in my life, is my love of writing down of all these past events and the placing of them on 'Kens Cosy.'  I'm proud of these stories of my yesteryears with my colleagues and friends.  But most of all I'm proud of the memories I've kept alive of all those Shamley Green-ites and the history of my family, the family Tuffs. I couldn't have done it without the help of those, 'Two Blokes From The Pig and Tator, the nice and not so nice one!'          
   

[Ken]

This time-machine journey involves the now closed down pub called the Pig and Tator, Michael 'Choo Choo' Portillo, Nicolla Heaphy and two blokes called Ken!