(63) 'Characters Known To The Family Tuffs'

[Ken]

We all know of those rare individuals who are described by their peers as 'Characters.'  Ian Stevens, from Shamley Green who is one of my brother Bobs oldest friends is without doubt one.  When I moved to Wales I met another.  He was called Tom Trapp and he was the funniest of men, many of my guests got to know him well during their visits to Wales.  I recall my brother Len saying to Tom, that both him and Bob were a little deaf, so he'd have to talk a little slower.  Tom replied, to the amusement of the locals, that Len and Bob would have to listen a little faster!  This brief tale tells of two memories I have of the these two Characters!

Let me start with an event that took place in 1995.  I was in Surrey to attend my sister Dots sixtieth birthday party and for two days I'd been staying with my friends, Malc and Jan Scott.  It was on a Friday and they were about to drop me off at my brother Bobs home where I would spend the next few days. However, knowing I had an hour to kill before Bob finished his mornings work, I suggested we first call at, The Bricklayers Arms, for a lunchtime pint.  On entering the pub a loud voice boomed, "Well if it isn't young Kenny Tuffs," and the six foot, six inch form of Ian Stevens turned from the bar to greet me.  When I was a small child I had, according to my mother, asked Ian at our first ever meeting the following question, "Is you a Giant?" and I recalled those words as once again I looked up as his lofty form stood to greet me.  A giant hand zoomed down from on high to shake my hand vigorously for what seemed several minutes.  He said that Bob had told him I was coming to visit and his pleasure at seeing me was obvious to all.  

I introduced him to Malc and Jan and before long they were chatting together like old friends.  I was at the bar ordering some drinks when I heard Ian singing the praises of me and my family and I inwardly smiled, wondering what was coming next.  I then heard this great family friend ask them how long they had known me?  Malc informed him that we'd been friends for over twenty years and, at this point, Ian did what Ian loves to do.  He leaned closer and in a conspiratorial voice gave some advice to my two dear friends.  This is what the pub heard him say in a hushed whisper that could be heard for a radius of 100 metres, "Never, whatever you do, lend him any money!"  Malc and Jan were naturally taken aback by this unexpected development and seemed relieved to find me and some other customers laughing. They also laughed when I explained that the grinning Ian was the undisputed 'Leg Pull King of Shamley Green!'

Lets travel down to Wales and the late 1980's.  My story tells of a man some twenty years older than me who everyone locally described as a real character.  His name was Tom Jones but he was known to all and sundry as Tom Trap.  This affectionate nickname came from his younger days when he'd make extra cash by trapping rabbits.  When Tom told a story or a joke all who were near him stopped to listen, including me, for he was a fascinating man.  I'd hit it off with him at our first meeting when he'd learned I enjoyed boxing.  I'd found out he'd been an excellent amateur with an impressive win record, and now he helped train the local youngsters.  In some ways he was a bit of a mystery man and always carried a massive wad of bank notes with him, I'd been told that he made his money selling tyres and had no love for banks.  A small man in height but obviously a tough one, Tom trap, aka Tom Tyres, was liked by everyone he met.  

One of the often told stories about Tom, that happened long before my move to Wales, involved a Mohammad Ali fight, held in the USA.  It was also being watched at some ungodly hour on live TV in my village's, Lock and Key pub.  Many of Toms boxing friends were there to watch the fight but, to everyone's surprise, no Tom arrived?  People were truly concerned when he still hadn't turned up as the actual fight began.  I'm told that Ali was on top form that night and, as expected, that fine champion was declared the winner.  As the usual pandemonium erupted inside the ring, and pretty girls paraded holding up advertising posters, Ali gave his usual over the top view of the fight.  At that very moment, viewers who were crowded in that far away Welsh pub discovered the whereabouts of their missing friend,  For there, in that crowded American boxing ring, Tom too paraded with the pretty girls.  Arms aloft, he was holding up a home made sign for the whole world to see that  proudly said, 'TOM TRAP TYRES'!  That's what you call an opportunist!

Ian and Tom are just two of the outstanding characters I've been fortunate to meet.  People like local Welsh man Danny Pugh, my friend Malcolm Scott or cricket umpire, Seymour Glue.  They all come from the same mould of uniqueness that is hard to define.  If you have any anecdote about these fascinating characters please share them so I can feature them in my future Cosy stories.    

[Ken]

These memories tell of some of the unique characters I've known in Shamley Green and beyond.  It also asks you to remind me of other stories of friends close to the family Tuffs!